Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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