already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
