Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
