Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
