I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
