I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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