Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You were trust falling into bushes
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
