wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Randomize
