Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize