yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
