Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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