You really coming over, don't trick.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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