Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
