someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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