You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize