11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize