It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
