my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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