it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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