I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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