That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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