yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
