So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
