I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
