Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
