I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
