we're blogging at a bar
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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