No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
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