If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
