how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
