I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
