Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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