My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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