I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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