dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
