what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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