Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
