I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
