Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
