it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Even my vagina gasped.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
