i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
