I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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