what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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