the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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