how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
