wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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