batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
