Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
