using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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