dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
