Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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