Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
