He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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