i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
They took my balls.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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