guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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