I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Is it because I queefed?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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