Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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