I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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