her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
