he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
