By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize