Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
