How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize